Sunday, April 5, 2009

Rules to be posted on parish doors for future Palm Sundays

1. Palm leaves are not to be woven into cross shapes during Mass time. If you want to weave them, do it after Mass.

2. The blessing of the palm leaves is not an empty formality. After the blessing has been pronounced they are blessed objects. Peeling and dividing the blessed objects to carry out the abovementioned Mass-time weaving, and then leaving those pieces and strands of the blessed object on the floor and all over the pews is inappropriate handling of blessed objects.

3. The extra minutes of the Palm Sunday Gospel reading do not legitimize you taking "sit rests". If you are capable of standing more than ten minutes doing dishes or laundry or any other task, then you are capable of standing the extra few minutes of the Palm Sunday Gospel reading. Don't be a wimp.

4. Palm Sunday marks the beginning of Holy Week, not the beginning of Easter. It is Holy Week, not Easter. So stop saying "Happy Easter" to other parishioners on Palm Sunday you hippies.

3 comments:

Tim J. said...

Wow, were you visiting in Northwest Arkansas, by any chance? That sounds like MY parish.

theluminousmiseries said...

#5. No playing sword fights with blessed palm leaves.

Paul Stilwell said...

Lord help us all.