Spike is Best

Stupid is as stupid does,
and I know this well because
Forrest Gump with a box of chocolates
sat beside me for the length of an epic
on a white bus bench where a floating feather
came down softly in the balmy weather;
for it was far down south you see,
down in Alabama where a breeze
in summer is highly prized
as anywhere else, like the fireflies,
only there they are lightning bugs,
and stupid is as stupid does.

And somebody shot that nice man
and one day Gump just up and ran,
and a big fat cheque goes to the family of Bubba
and shrimp is just all kinds of hubba hubba.

That's supposed to be the refrain, if you will;
kind of whatever, as just for fill;
the main thing is that a millionaire
who bought into early apple shares
thinking it was a company for fruit
still mows the football field - that is a hoot!
and taught Elvis Presley his retard dance,
gyrations and swivels, legs askance,
a newfangled thing like chili fries,
only this is not for children's eyes!
Simply put, keep your hair a close-shaven buzz,
and well remember, stupid is as--

and somebody shot that nice man
and one day Gump just up and ran,
and a big fat cheque goes to the family of Bubba
and shrimp is just all kinds of hubba hubba.

Is it catching yet? Doesn't matter.
What matters is the serious matter
of Forrest Gump's first kiss--
I'll make it rhyme with Zemeckis.
There, that is all that mattered
in that particular most serious matter.
Something else that Gump said to me
is that life is a lot like a hive of bees;
they swarm you and sting you until you die
and then people find you all swollen there where you lie;
isn't that nice, now have a chocolate, you know
mama always said life is a lot like--

and somebody shot that nice man
and one day Gump just up and ran,
and a big fat cheque goes to the family of Bubba
and shrimp is just all kinds of hubba hubba.

So far so good, ignore the meter,
scansion is for pedantic losers
and the rhyme nazis.
But one good thing about Forrest Gump
in addition to all of the above,
is the song by Weird Al Yankovic called Gump
in which he parodies a song by The Presidents of the United States of
America called Lump.
This is all very 90s and dated of course,
like why would I write about this old horse?
It doesn't matter simply because
stupid is as stupid does.

And somebody shot that nice man
and one day Gump just up and ran,
and a big fat cheque goes to the family of Bubba
and shrimp is just all kinds of hubba hubba.