The abondonment of parental authority

The authority of the parent is a spiritual authority. As with all authority, it must be exercised with love, not control. It is for real: one does not need to try to be authoritative. Every parent is endowed with it; it is either being healthily exercised, or abused/neglected.

Parental authority is typically undermined by the parent's own reactions. Reactive parents do no good to their children. (That does not necessarily mean "high emotions". There are many families - I know some - where the mom will on occasion go ballistic emotionally and yet somehow her authority/love is communicated.) Parental authority is bolstered and made effective, in the best way, to the degree that it observes and preempts, and does not react. That is not to say preempting in some clever way, but preempting with a whole lot of love. What does that mean? Essentially the heart of the parent must become larger and larger. Just as you have made room for your children entering into life. In that regard, you do not have the final say.

God is pure act. He does not react. Children are traumatized by parent's bad reactions, never by their authoritative actions done out of love. You can know you are seeking control when you are seeking results. That way lies manipulation of your children.

Speaking to your children without puritanical hysteria about pornography, and what it really is, before they are exposed to it, or more especially, before they conceive of looking at it in the secrecy of their own thoughts, would be one great example of preemptive parental authority defeating evil and winning the battle for good.

In other words, a missing key in the battle against pornography is the healthy and prompt exercise of parental authority, made directly. Blocking access, removing the near occasion, "shielding" your children, is really nothing next to the power of your parental authority directly and openly talking to your children.

If you think your words to your children about pornography will have no effect against such a pervasive foe, or will harm them, you are extremely ignorant about the reality of the authority you as a parent have been endowed with. God does not give ineffective gifts.

I don't know how any parent today can conceive of not talking to their children about pornography as the best immunization. If you think about your responsibility as a parent, and the healthy exercise of authority that your children actually hunger for, how can a parent in today's world come to the conclusion that they don't need to talk to their children "in advance" about this issue?

I reflect back on certain times when my Mom said something one time, or my Dad did something one time - and these weren't huge moments, but just something they said or did - and how much I absorbed it, the degree to which it in-formed me. One thing is clear: parental authority is for real - a spiritual reality. It is not a style or a way of parenting that you choose, or take up or cast aside. Parental authority is an irrevocable spiritual reality. It cannot be ignored. Just think, God who is the author of all life submitted to the authority of Mary and Joseph. That's how much a reality parental authority is - and yet, somehow quiet. If you assume it with force, you are doing something wrong. If you abandon it, you are deforming it all the same.

Perhaps one could put it this way: you love your children undoubtedly, and the responsibility side of the equation of that love would be the role of your authority exercised for their happiness and well-being. That's what your authority is there for. And it helps to know that parental authority - genuine and benevolent - is desired by the children. It is a reflection of the benignity of the Author of life. Maybe some parents go wrong in thinking that authority = medicine, a corrective, when it is better to understand it as food. Health-giving food. And we know health-giving food is "the best medicine".

The simple acquirement of the belief that parental authority is an ontological reality can be enough, I believe, for families to get a bit better.

Anyways, did you know that majority-communist countries like Nepal are taking actions to ban pornography? I guess they - and not western nations - are taking up the torch because banning pornography is one of the items on the Communist Manifesto?