Saturday, May 3, 2008

Song of a New Ager



My next bestseller, which you may already have read
before I even wrote it, since we are all one Godhead,
is due out soon, for to relieve your ego-constipation.
And it is entitled, The Power of Masturbation.

You may wonder how I know it will be a bestseller;
well, the secret of that, my dearest other,
is in the book. In it you will find how to be a be-er, not a doer.
In it you will also find that I Am, and that I Am Who Am, and that I am a Jesus-tooer.

You may wonder what a Jesus-tooer is. Well let me tell you.
A Jesus-tooer is one who can sense what words of scripture
are true and which are false, and he innerly senses it through
the pure masturbation moment, which is the perfect picture

of non-identification. Masturbation is the manifold mother
of unfolding consciousness where there is no longer any other.
Masturbation is the pure awareness without identification;
no, not even with your phallus; just pure masturbation.

Masturbation is the power beyond the mind…wait,
I was speaking about being a Jesus-tooer. Contemplate
this: Abraham Lincoln, Oprah Winfrey, John Lennon,
Elvis Presley, Some Guy Who was Homo, The Polar Bear, Peewee Herman,

and Jesus too. You see? You are also on the list,
and so am I. And I am Jesus too. There are no holes in my wrist,
but that was added in there, see. By people, who,
not being in the masturbation moment purely, tooled

around with scripture, in order to make converts.
They didn’t know how to write bestsellers.

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